Guys are competitive and if they aren't interested in sex or it isn't working, they don't talk about it. Don't assume your spouse is uninterested in having sex. The good news is that you can change it once you know, and you can eventually change their opinion as well. Thomas Barwick via Getty Images Get out of your head and really connect with your spouse. Professionals can help you discover new ways to relate to each other, not just to talk to each other, and that is what you need. This means that you may need to make some changes in your life in order to relate to your spouse better and start doing things that they need you do. Communication is going to give you insight into what is really happening in the marriage and what you need to do to fix it. Please visit my practice website at www. Once the couple is back in the practice of acknowledging each other's needs, Ghose tells them to take turns initiating sex.
Following are some things you need to do starting today. Make a list of barriers that keep you from having a sexual relationship with your partner. You have to do things that help her feel emotionally connected, which means you can keep doing what you are doing if you are not making her feel emotionally connected right now! I tell couples to have a heart-to-heart with each other. Try not to be defensive when you hear certain things from your spouse, because they are important to fixing your marriage. He keeps talking despite being a bit muffled in the position he is slumped over in. Sexual dysfunction including erectile dysfunction , premature ejaculation or a lack of vaginal lubrication often makes partners apprehensive about initiating sex, said Laurel Steinberg, a psychotherapist based in Great Neck, New York. This may be with a marriage counselor or even a sex therapist. The couple has two school-aged children and both have careers to be proud of. After discussing your lists, figure out if the problems and barriers can be solved. Thomas Barwick via Getty Images Get out of your head and really connect with your spouse. Never, ever doubt that those little things amount to romance. Reorganize your relationship and your lives to have time to connect emotionally and physically. This means that you may need to make some changes in your life in order to relate to your spouse better and start doing things that they need you do. Make a plan to reconnect. Lovemaking needs to be viewed as a practice. Communication is going to give you insight into what is really happening in the marriage and what you need to do to fix it. Talk about your fantasies. Often, hearing the way our partner is feeling can lead to feeling criticized or defensiveness. Don't assume your spouse is uninterested in having sex. There is no way around it. Setting aside time to talk about your feelings and wants is important to moving towards the goal of fixing things. Encouraging other types of intimacy, that are less intimidating and have less pressure can ease the couple back into great sex. Get out of your head and into your body. Be willing to make some changes.
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