My ex wants to stay in touch, but I'm heartbroken. Mind reading is overrated. If you treat going down on your partner like some kind of chore, she will certainly be able to sense that, which can take her out of the moment. In the meantime, focus your attention on other less sensitive areas. Knowing he is looking forward to going down on you might reassure you it is something he genuinely wants to do.
Getting her to open up and hold still might take some gentle manual bondage. Avoiding scented soaps may seem counterintuitive, but can help prevent you feeling sore or irritated. Can we ever be friends? Often advice implies if you only keep trying then you will learn to love oral. It may take a little practice, but it can be a real turn-on. It is also OK to tell him what feels good; to move around while he is going down on you; and to consider different positions for oral sex. Knowing he is looking forward to going down on you might reassure you it is something he genuinely wants to do. If you try and it find you like it, great. One orgasm is great, but two is fantastic. My ex wants to stay in touch, but I'm heartbroken. That might be something you do alone or with your partner. Together you could explore what kinds of touch you prefer, remembering it can be passionate, tender, loving or teasing. When going down on your partner, you can supplement some tongue action by using your hands to stroke the clitoris, play with the labia or finger her. Using your hands can double or even triple the amount of sensation you can create, and can give your mouth a break when you need it. Oral sex may end in you experiencing orgasm, but it may not. If your partner is into it, consider holding her hands down to help steady her body so she soaks up all the sensations. Do any of these apply? Remember if you prefer to alternate oral sex with other pleasurable activities or if you only like it for a short time particularly at first that is OK. Ask what she wants. The best way to know what a woman wants in bed is simple: It might feel good to hear him talking about your body so positively too. Focus on a slow buildup maybe start with a body massage or a make-out session , then pay special attention to the clitoris, which, for many women, must be stimulated in order for them to have an orgasm. Email your sex and relationships queries to: Follow her on Twitter drpetra. Some women feel more comfortable having oral sex if they have washed beforehand. Try circles, moving your tongue up and down, or left to right. This guide on genital self-care may be reassuring Some women like to shave their genitals before oral sex as they feel this adds to the experience, but not everyone likes this — it is a matter of personal preference.
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