It turns out, guilt — especially the type born from the rules of traditional office life — dies hard. I hated how weekends never contained enough time to make a dent in household tasks while still having fun. Time and I now have a cohesive relationship built on mutual respect. I crunched numbers and visualized cashing checks bigger than the ones I was currently cashing. Money seems far less important. There is nothing more valuable than that. When I pound away at a project for a solid five hours and have a gloriously free afternoon stretched out in front of me, guilt rises up to greet me.
But when starting a business is mixed with establishing an overall well-balanced, intentional life, something magical happens. Now, my mind has deconstructed the brick barriers that separated my work life from my personal life. I simply had an unavoidable need for freedom and a few freelance writing gigs with potential. Feeling as if I was stuck in a never-ending cycle of loathing my day-to-day life was utterly exhausting, both for myself and those who had to endure my mood swings and bad attitude. I used to hate time. It turns out, guilt — especially the type born from the rules of traditional office life — dies hard. There was no plan B. Suddenly, staying put for health insurance and a steady paycheck seemed like an entirely uneven exchange. Monday through Friday, between the hours of 7 am and 4 pm, I felt completely dead inside. I frantically texted the most trusted members of my inner circle, divulging my plan before I could grasp what a hugely challenging endeavor I had just committed myself to. Today, I woke up at 7: When I pound away at a project for a solid five hours and have a gloriously free afternoon stretched out in front of me, guilt rises up to greet me. So on that day, I set my quit date. Money seems far less important. Happiness, passion and joy were left in whatever tropical location I was visiting, and obligation, work and an overwhelming feeling would be greeting me at the gate upon arrival. For me, there was a clear delineation. I only had the intention to figure it out along the way. Then, as I dove deeper into establishing a life based on enjoyment rather than obligation, something strange happened: Life and work transition seamlessly. It had been a full year where simply stepping into the office gave me an overwhelming feeling of heaviness and all-consuming dread. Time moves much faster now, regardless of the day of the week. I hated how weekends never contained enough time to make a dent in household tasks while still having fun. I hated how it would creep at a mind-numbingly slow place between the hours of 1 pm and 4 pm. An improved demeanor means they are more likely to want me around in the first place. There is nothing more valuable than that. Even when I first thought about starting a business, my mind immediately went to the income potential for such an endeavor. After all, it was my compensation for turning over precious brainpower and the most substantial chunk of my waking hours.
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