This was stage tango, not social tango. Claerchens Ballhaus first opened over years ago, and for some 90 years it was run by the same family. Tango is not always better than sex. The essence of tango, especially for the follower, is to focus on feeling rather than thinking. I would go to bed after having a tangasm for the night feeling satisfied; the tangasm helped me to wake up happy, still on a cloud of pleasure waking up in the morning, sipping my morning tea. Tango was nothing like the image I had mysteriously developed of the dance, the march of a man and a woman their arms outstretched across the room, the woman with a rose clenched between her teeth. In Buenos Aires I felt more powerful tangasms because the embrace was more healing, more committed, than in the Bay Area, where the embrace could feel like a faint and technical thing.
It was in Cali, Colombia, the world capital of salsa, where everyone dances, that I saw tango for the first time. There were maybe a couple of dozen men and women, most of them over forty, clinging to their drinks and lurking self-consciously at the perimeter of the room. It wasn't like salsa, all happy-happy. Or Sisyphos, in a former dog biscuit factory? There are tango addicts even in the most unlikely small towns. There is a potency and beauty in sex, penetration, and intimacy mixed with love, or even without love, that is distinct. A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics and a dating and sex coach who leads weeklong Quirky Heart Tango Adventures in Buenos Aires where you can discover your tangasm. But this mid-week soiree, in accommodating wide-eyed innocents like me, had seemingly attracted too many… well, too many people like me. We can't wait to dance and talk tangasm with you! I had never done much partner dancing. I have been one now for four years. The dance pumped me with extraordinary amounts of oxytocin, endorphins, whatever the hormones were, they were working. I'm not going to have an unwanted pregnancy. Is tango always better than sex? Though, to be honest, probably not that much racier. The dancers circulate around the performance. I am a tango addict. There, in halls and sheds situated along railway lines, people dance to reggae, punk rock, dancehall, hardcore, metal, rap, hip-hop and techno in clubs with names like Cassiopeia and Suicide Circus. After a tanda, Karen, one of my favorite "queer" tango dancers a woman who dances the lead , told me, "I don't want to live in a universe like that. But aside from them the small crowd was unremarkable and too busy sizing each other up to be enjoying themselves. If you do not wear stilettos are you available as a revel? At a dimly-lit kinky club called Insomnia some people switch their everyday clothes for latex or leather in the changing rooms near the entrance while others strip off and head into a whirlpool. Looking for hugs in each new partner, I get to "try" many different, new, exciting sexual partners in one night with no negative consequences. Nico Brodersen, head bouncer at Bassy Club, said it is the people who count. A slideshow of try-hard arty pornographic imagery was being largely ignored and the spacious, hygienically upholstered vinyl ottomans around the place were going to waste.
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